Friday fun - A story about snow

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Friday fun - A story about snow

Postby Mark Johansson » Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:37 pm

Excuse the language

A dairy of a Swedish man who moves to Alaska.

9 of December

We woke up to a beautiful carpet of snow, who covered every cm of the landscape. What a wonderful sight. It doesn’t exist a more beautiful place in the whole world. To move here was the best thing I have ever done. I shovelled for the first time and felt young again. I shovelled both my approach and my sidewalk. This afternoon the snowplough came and filled the whole sidewalk with snow and blocked the approach.
I had the shovel it again. What a beautiful life I have.

12 of December

The sun have melted all the beautiful snow. What a disappointment. My neighbours says that I shouldn’t worry, we are going to have a white Christmas. No snow at Christmas would be terrible. This is life. Bobby says we are going to have plenty of snow. He says that I’m going to feel like I never want to see snow again. I don’t believe it’s possible. Bobby is a nice person. I’m glad to have him as a neighbour.

14 of December

Snow, beautiful snow! It came 20 cm of snow tonight. The temperature has fall down to –20 degrees. The cold makes everything sparkle. The wind made me cold, but I warmed up by shovelling the approach and the sidewalk. This is life. The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything in snow. I realised that I don’t have to shovel this much, but I really get in shape by doing it.

15 of December

50 cm more of snow. I sold my car and got myself four-wheel car instead. I bought snow tyres to my wife’s car and bought two extra snow shovels.
My wife wants to buy a stove if the electricity stops working. But I think it’s ridiculous. We are not living in the north pole.

16 of December

Snowstorm this morning. I fell down on the approach because of the ice while I salted the approach. My wife laughed for one hour…. Funny….

17 of December

Still below freezing point. The roads are to slippery to be able to get anywhere. We were powerless for 5 hours. I had nothing to do accept looking at my wife and try not to annoy her. We should buy a stove, but I’m to proud to admit it. I hate when she is right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

20 of December

The electricity is back, but it came 35 cm of that shitty white stuff called snow. More shovelling. It took all day. The snowplough came twice today. I tried to find my neighbours son to get him shovel. But they were to busy playing hockey, they said. I called the only hardware store in the area to ask them about a snow thrower. They were sold out. They probably get more snow throwers in march. I believe they are lying. Bobby says I have to shovel because the municipality will do it otherwise and send me a bill. I believe Bobby is lying also.

22 of December

Bobby was right about the white Christmas. It came 32 cm more of the white fucking snow. It’s bloody cold and it probably won’t be melted until august. It took my 45 min to get my clothes on and walk outside and shovel, then I had to pee. I was to tired to shovel when I had undressed and peed. I tried to hire Bobby to shovel the whole winter because he have a snow shovel on his truck. But he says he don’t have the time to do it. I believe that son of bitch is lying.

23 of December

Only 5 cm of snow tonight. It’s below zero. My wife wants me to decorate the house with Christmas stuff. Is she out of her mind? Why didn’t she tell me about it a month ago? She says she told me but I believe the bitch is lying.

24 of December

15 cm of snow. I believe I broke the snow shovel because the snowplough has packed the snow so hard. I also believe I got an heart attack. I’m going to twist the balls on the man who drives the snowplough and drag him through the snow. He waits until I have shovelled and then he drives 100 km/h and bury everything. My lady wants us to sing Christmas songs while we open our presents but I was to busy looking out for the snowplough man.

25 of December

Merry Christmas. 50 cm more of that fucking snow. I wasn’t able to go outside of the house. The thought of shovelling snow makes my blood boil. O god, I hate snow. The snowplough man stopped and asked me how I was doing. I hit his head with the snow shovel.

26 of December

I’m still not able to get out of the house. Why the hell did I move here, this dump. Everything was her idea…. She gets on my nerves.

28 of December

Still snowed in…. The bitch makes me crazy.

29 of December

25 more of the snow. Bobby says I have to shovel the roof because it can fall down. Stupid man. He believes I’m stupid.

30 of December

The roof fell down. The snowplough man have indicted me and wants 1 million dollar because I hit him in the head with the snow shovel. My wife have left to stay with her mother.

31 of December

I burnt the house. No more snow shovelling.

8 of January

I feel so good. I love those small happy pills they give me. Why am I tied to the bed?


An apartment would be nice after this story………
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Mark Johansson
 
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